4:29:00 PM

All Of Me

My morning as my eyes see,
There are buses and kids,
So early as it seems,
Yet the clock is struck hour at two , sometimes six,
With the sky horrific now like nostrils,
I can't spell humane in humanity,
Only human.
Educated only with ink,
We tend to write but not to think.
All in all, I could care less.

My afternoon as my eyes see,
Fields are endowed,
One with the footsteps of playing kids,
Another, with the circuits of metal applying forces with steel.
My hands left bare,
Asking for germination of ideas.
Yet bare naked now with secrets,
I'm eyed with doubt with regrets.
All in all, I could care less.

My evening as my eyes see,
The skies are black,
Overshadowing the blackness of greed over hunger.
The speeches are weak,
Over spoken with speaking actors and colleagues.
Sex is running on a leak,
Like the infamous dinner of ribs and steaks.
Like holy ghosts and talk show hosts,
I saw it all.
All in all, I could care less.

My night as my eyes see,
Everyone is gone,
Everything is alone.
My heart skips every of its beat,
My mind twists like a sickening lovefreaks,
My mouth is sharpening with licks,
With the remembrance of my day.
The door is opened wide,
but I know nothing like white.
White lies are spread over my rugs,
How could I?
All in all, I could care less.

I try to reach and preach,
To those that I love;
Which here and hereafter means;
Everyone that I know and haven't,
To teach me to live your ways,
'Cause I can't seem to find any sanity,
In having,
Sex with everyone that I met,
A laugh on a person's error,
Cursing like the wind blows,
Fighting over the smallest matters,
Alcohol-stenched breath.
I'm outdated if it is what you call.
I don't know,
'Cause I've been having this idea that this is DIGNITY.
Am I wrong?
Am I right?
All in all, who wouldn't care less?
8:44:00 AM


okay this next post will be so harsh that i wish all of you would think thousands of time before reading this. i found this stupid maddening article at http://www.wikiislam.com/wiki/Letter_To_Allah . this website is developed by some laknatullah who is trying real hard to destroy muslims all over the world. artikel di bawah kononnya merupakan cubaan mereka untuk berhubung dgn Allah. astaghfirullahhal'azim. tolong mengucap dan beristighfar banyak banyak sebelum baca.
Dear Allah;
Assalamu Alaikum; We really do not know how to address you properly. So, we use the same salutation that you taught your most favorite messenger, Muhammad (pbuh). It is also quite difficult for us to know about your whereabouts since you communicated with your Umma via your Minister of Information, Jibril via Muhammad (pbuh) 1400 years ago. Since then, we had never heard from you. This is very sad to us Allah. During these long 1400 years so many things have changed on earth. We are absolutely certain that you are quite aware of these changes. We are sending this e-mail to you hoping that this will find you somewhere in the cyberspace as this space is so huge. Allah, please forgive our Beadabi. We tried to communicate with you through, Zainamaj, Tasbih, Kurbani, Fasting, Zakat, Hajj, Dan Khairat------everything that you told us to do. But alas! All our attempts have been futile. Perhaps you are very busy. Perhaps you have other matters to attend. We waited patiently for thousands of years to receive your 'nek' and 'niamat'. But so far we have not received any. That is why, in desperation we are writing this urgent e-mail to you. Dear Allah, do you have a fax machine? We are sure you have one. Even the lowly creatures of yours can invent a fax machine. So, we are certain that you have a fax and a telephone service too. On your reply please give us your fax and telephone numbers so that we can contact you promptly whenever emergency arises.
Allah, we were not happy where we were born and raised. It was because we had to face grinding poverty, lawlessness, ill health, disease and no future for ourselves as well as for our children. We thought you are testing our Iman through those sufferings. Then we found a way to migrate to the infidel's countries. Allah, we are sure you will forgive us if you know our real intentions of doing this. We wanted to convert all these infidels in to followers of Islam and at the same time we and our children are assured of a better life, at least materially. We also wanted to build a mosque in every suburb of these infidel lands. This is our greatest ambition. Allah, don't you think that it was a clever idea? We could kill many birds in one stone! To our surprise we found strange things in these infidels land. We found that the women here do not wear Hijab. At first we were ashamed to look at these Hijabless damsels. We strictly followed your injunction like this:
[an-Nur 24:30] Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And God is well acquainted with all that they do.
We thought that these women are no better than prostitutes and that they were inviting rape. But we are surprised that a Hijabless woman is rarely raped or molested in the infidel's land! Allah, how is that possible? All our women wear Hijab still then they do not feel safe. Why is it so Allah?
Ya Allah, throughout our lives we have eaten Halal foods. We have never consumed any food forbidden by you. Even in the infidels land we drive hundreds of miles just to buy Halal foods though they may be unhygienic. But we shall rather eat unhygienic Halal food than consume infidel's foods. Allah, for this reason we very rarely visit Macdolad's, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Hungry Jacks, Burger Kings ….……. and in other infidel fast food joints. We are very proud not to eat in these outlets even though they are impeccably, clean, hygienic and pleasant. We are very proud to uphold your decrees. Allah do you know why? It is because you said that the infidels are unclean. See for yourself, Allah!
[at-Taubah 9:28] O ye who believe! Truly the Pagans are unclean; so let them not, after this year of theirs, approach the Sacred Mosque. And if ye fear poverty, soon will God enrich you, if He wills, out of His bounty, for God is All-knowing, All-wise.
Allah, we have absolute faith in your words. When infidels invite us in their homes for a party we pretend to be broad minded; but when we go to these parties we carefully search foods for the telltale sign of Haramness in them. Most of the time we only drink fruit juices and eat none of the foods. We tell our hosts that we are not hungry or that we are sick.. Allah, don’t you think that it is a great sacrifice on our part just to honor your divine decrees? If by mistake we did the terrible act of consuming Haram food, please forgive us for this sin. After all, such accidental errors are forgiving to you; isn't it. See Allah what you wrote in your Quran!
[al-Baqarah 2:173] He hath only forbidden you dead meat, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and that on which any other name hath been invoked besides that of God. But if one is forced by necessity, without willful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits,- then is he guiltless. For God is Oft-forgiving Most Merciful.
But Allah, the thing that really puzzles us is that why are these Haramkhors (Haram eaters) seem to enjoy excellent health; whereas many of us even after eating the Halal foods throughout our lives seem not to have that great health. After all, we thought that the best way for health, vitality and longevity is through the Halal way. How come the infidels are better off with the Haram way? Dear Allah, you told us that as followers of the best religion, we are the best people on earth. For confirmation we just need to look at your following words:
[Al-Imran 3:110] Ye are the best of peoples, evolved for mankind, enjoining what is right, forbidding what is wrong, and believing in God. If only the People of the Book had faith, it were best for them: among them are some who have faith, but most of them are perverted transgressors.
[Al-Imran 3:85] If anyone desires a religion other than Islam (submission to God), never will it be accepted of him; and in the Hereafter He will be in the ranks of those who have lost (All spiritual good).
Allah, to us it meant that we are the best in every respect. But to our surprise we find that almost all the achievements of today are by the infidels and the kafirs. After you stopped talking to us through your messenger, so many things have changed that we do not have the space to write details in this short e-mail. Allah, why is it that we do not have a radio connection with you whereas these infidels have connected the entire globe electronically. How is it that these infidels are about to set foot on another planet created by you whereas we, the true followers of yours could not even trace your residing place? Allah, why is it that you did not give enough capability to your true followers to achieve these incredible achievements of the infidels? Another matter that is very perplexing to us is the field of medicine.
All the modern life saving drugs and medical inventions like penicillin, anti-biotic, x-ray, chemotherapy, CT-scan, ultrasound, mammography …… etc have been invented by the infidels. We hate to say this. But Allah, we have no choice. Our life totally depends on these infidels. Why is it so Allah? Allah, please give us at least the ability to save our own lives ourselves when we fall sick. Allah, it really seems that you are gradually abandoning us. Allah please tell us what has gone wrong with us.
To our knowledge we have never committed any Gunah at all. In fact, our other compatriots in your Islamic paradises are implementing pure and absolute Islam by following your prescriptions to the letter. Still then you are not happy with them You have given them all sorts of immeasurable sufferings and a series of natural disasters. We thought that you reserve the natural disasters like earthquakes, floods, famines, droughts etc. for the infidels and kafirs. Allah, is it fair that you make your believers suffer so much and let the infidels/kafirs go Scot free? Dear Allah, our members have become very frustrated. Every day we are facing the attacks from the secularists/freethinkers. We thought that Internet (your gift to mankind) will be on our side. We spent huge sums of money to develop countless sites dedicated to you. We thought that Internet shall be our weapon through which we shall convert every one on this planet to Islam. We thought that we shall decimate all secularists/freethinkers through our brilliant essays/discussions/fatwas/promises of eternal life/heaven and what not. We recycled most of these writings in almost all our sites. Our members are too busy following your prescribed rituals like five times prayers a day, fasting, Hajj, implementing Quran at home and outside. That is why they do not have enough time to produce new and original articles. Allah, what is wrong in recycling and repeating the same essays again and again and again in all our sites? After all, your writings are mostly repetitive too. Many times the secularists/freethinkers had the audacity to question the many repetition of verses in your Holy book. We silence them by saying that Allah repeats for greater understanding and explanation. Allah, we are just following that which you have done. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Cut and paste. Cut and paste. Cut and paste. We have no shortage of funds to create new web sites.
Money is pouring in from the Islamic paradises. We will do more and more cut and paste until all Islamic brother sites look alike just like the verses in your Quran. The only thing that is lacking in us is that we do not have the brainpower to silence the secularists and freethinkers. That is why we need to do a lot of homework. We spend nights and days doing our homework. In fact, we have so much of homework to do that the handful of brains that we have are always busy at home and rarely do outside work. See how smart and clever are we! The secularists and the freethinkers never do their homework. That is why we always chide them and lecture on them on how to compose essays.
We feel very proud in our faith when we do this. But then, this Internet battle is also looks like going to be won by the secularists/freethinkers/infidels. The Internet has really backfired on us, Allah. Every other day we find that secularists/freethinkers bring in new converts and original writings which your fellow followers find very difficult to confront. It is a very shameful thing for us when we find that many of these convert secularists were actually die hard followers of yours at a certain point in their lives. If you want to know more about them we can send their e-mail addresses and the blasphemous articles that they dared to propagate. Allah, is it possible that you made them to change their heart about you? We base it from your countless verses dealing with pre-ordination. In case you have forgotten, we are quoting a few here:
[Yunus 10:100] No soul can believe, except by the will of God, and He will place doubt (or obscurity) on those who will not understand.
[al-Fatir 35:8] Is he, then, to whom the evil of his conduct is made alluring, so that he looks upon it as good, (equal to one who is rightly guided)? For God leaves to stray whom He wills, and guides whom He wills. So let not thy soul go out in (vainly) sighing after them: for God knows well all that they do!
[al-An`am 6:125] Those whom God (in His plan) willeth to guide,- He openeth their breast to Islam; those whom He willeth to leave straying,- He maketh their breast close and constricted, as if they had to climb up to the skies: thus doth God (heap) the penalty on those who refuse to believe.
Dear Allah, would you please confirm this fear of ours in your return e-mail. Gostaki maaf. If this be confirmed by you then we better not waste our time on these secularist/infidel writers. This is your wish. So, be it.
Dear Allah it really frustrates us when we find that the Internet battle is slowly but surely being won by the infidels/freethinkers. To make situation worse, many of these kafirs writers use pseudo names and hide their real identities and physical whereabouts. Allah, please do not misunderstand us. We did try our utmost to unveil these hidden enemies of Islam. We have declared them apostates and we have waged Jihad against them. We have never forgotten your decrees on these apostates. As a test of proficiency of your Holy Scripture we quote from your Holy Quran:
[an-Nisa' 4:137] Those who believe, then reject faith, then believe (again) and (again) reject faith, and go on increasing in unbelief,- God will not forgive them nor guide them nor guide them on the way.
[an-Nahl 16:106] Any one who, after accepting faith in God, utters Unbelief,- except under compulsion, his heart remaining firm in Faith - but such as open their breast to Unbelief, on them is Wrath from God, and theirs will be a dreadful Penalty.
[ash-Shura 42:16] But those who dispute concerning God after He has been accepted,- futile is their dispute in the Sight of their Lord: on them will be a Penalty terrible.
Allah, we have sent plenty of hate/warning/threat mails to these kafirs/apostates. Some of our warning mails even contained threats of beheading them as per your instruction and as per your dearest messenger's practices. But these apostates do not care. They have become more dangerous than Salman Rushdie and Taslima Nasreen. Allah, please help us to find these apostates. You have declared that you are all knower. Allah, we are sure that you have not forgotten similar decrees of yours which adore virtually every page of the Holy Quran. Allah, do you have a tape recorder? Please playback your messages of 1400 years ago. Dear Allah, we know in the following verses that you asked us not to raise questions about faith.
[al-Ma'idah 5:101] O ye who believe! Ask not questions about things which, if made plain to you, may cause you trouble. But if ye ask about things when the Qur'an is being revealed, they will be made plain to you, God will forgive those: for God is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing.
[al-Ma'idah 5:102] Some people before you did ask such questions, and on that account lost their faith.
Allah, how funny is it that if we ask any questions about Islam then we may end up becoming an unbeliever! Now we understand why you have imposed terrible punishments for those who ask questions like the secularists/freethinkers. Allah, we are really very curious to know if you had recorded your messages in a tape recorder or CD or DVD so that there would have been no confusion about your authentic messages? Please Allah forgive us for inquiring such thing. Ya Allah, we need your intervention very urgently. Please tell us the physical whereabouts of these new Salman Rushdies and Taslima Nasreens. They are multiplying every day. After we receive your e-mail, we shall forward this information to your favourite annihilators, the Talibans and other Islamic Jihadis group who will take care of them. We have tried our best to defeat these foes of Islam intellectually, but we could not. Now we have no choice but to eliminate them physically. After all, that is how you had always won, isn't it? Allah, remember the genocide in Bangladesh, Iran, Afghanistan, Sudan? Allah, isn't this the only language in your scripture to deal with the infidels/secularists/freethinkers? Look Allah, what you wrote in your Pak Kalam
[al-Baqarah 2:193] And fight them on until there is no more Tumult or oppression, and there prevail justice and faith in God; but if they cease, Let there be no hostility except to those who practise oppression.
[al-Ma'idah 5:33] The punishment of those who wage war against God and His Apostle, and strive with might and main for mischief through the land is: execution, or crucifixion, or the cutting off of hands and feet from opposite sides, or exile from the land: that is their disgrace in this world, and a heavy punishment is theirs in the Hereafter;
[Muhammad 47:4] Therefore, when ye meet the Unbelievers (in fight), smite at their necks; At length, when ye have thoroughly subdued them, bind a bond firmly (on them): thereafter (is the time for) either generosity or ransom: Until the war lays down its burdens. Thus (are ye commanded): but if it had been God's Will, He could certainly have exacted retribution from them (Himself); but (He lets you fight) in order to test you, some with others. But those who are slain in the Way of God,- He will never let their deeds be lost.
Dear Allah, as we said before, we have many things to write to you. If only you could read our language and respond!
With the greatest devotion. Your Slave. Hal-Lum-Wena
P.S. For safety reasons from the kafirs we also used a cryptic name just like you put many cryptic messages in your Holy Book (like Alif-Lam-Mim, Alif-Lam-Mim-Sad, Ta-Ha, Ta-Sin-Mim, Ha-Mim just to name a few). Allah, we are sure you will be able to decipher it.
Written by Abul Kasem, an ex-muslim of Bangladeshi origin
i cried when i read this for the first time. this is sad. super sad ;'(
aku memohon perlindungan dari Allah SWT dari segala fitnah dunia :'(
6:32:00 AM

21st Century Breakdown

no the title has nothing to do with green day's single. i'm here again to be that preacher who tries to connect but with all the wrong words and means. baru baru ni menjelajah ke alam myspace, browsing for musics and stuff. tangan gatal gatal nak bukak profile sesape tahh. maen bukak je, and i really hate the words used in most of the profile i've visited. ayat dorang macam orang yang takde agama, takde moral, takde akhlak islamiah tapi dekat section religion terang terang tulis 'Muslim' :( . dekat profile sorang minah ni ade tertulis ni:

"you hate me ? just get a fuck off n blahblah ! just like pussy or koneek :) . msj tidakk akn dilayan ye , si bdo ! a triple fuckk if sexsual topic become here . urr jgn mcm cibai okayy ? :) , i'm taken andd no time for chatting , please attention yuh :) . so , better if dunt leave any comments here :) tengs ! ehh , i'm nott lesbian laa babi . "

"just like pussy or koneek :) ." haiihh. kau tu perempuan. mulut jaga la sikit. kau nak konek sangat ke? then this "a triple fuckk if sexsual topic become here . urr jgn mcm cibai okayy ? :)" , grammar berterabur pastu tak bagi orang sembang kotor. konek ngan pussy tu ape? nama makanan? dah macam nasik la perkataan tu eh? and then ada satu profile minah sorang ni lagi dekat caption salah satu gambar dier, dier tulis "masih dara, still in good condition :) ." ermmm kau nak buat direct selling ke? satu lagi, masalah orientation. "Ak sKe laki n poMpuan . Pew ownk Nk cKp psl ak LntK a ." orientation dier letak lesbian (okay some girls did it for fun because one of my ex once did the same thing too and i'm not offended by that), pastu gambar kalau boleh nak maut habis. kalau kamera boleh letak dalam bra, rasenye dier dah buat. ade sekali terbukak profile pompuan ni, gambar biasa, tapi dekat status tulis "baru pas maen ngan kazen i :) " . ade sorang lagi perempuan-yang-ingin-hak-sama-rata-antara-manusia ni tulis kat status "if u want best klimax. try play-o (durex)" wahhhh siap ada ilmu untuk dikongsi lagi? impressing. i'm not sure what's the use of having those dirty ideas in our mind -.-

"Dari Jabir bin Abdullah, katanya Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda: “Dajjal muncul pada waktu orang tidak berpegang kepada agama dan jahil tentang agama. Pada zaman Dajjal ada empat puluh hari, yang mana satu hari terasa bagaikan setahun, ada satu hari yang terasa bagaikan sebulan, ada satu hari yang terasa satu minggu, kemudian hari-hari berikutnya seperti hari biasa.” Ada yang bertanya: “Ya Rasulullah, tentang hari yang terasa satu tahun itu, apakah boleh kami solat lima waktu juga?” Rasulullah s.a.w menjawab: “Ukurlah berapa jarak solat yang lima waktu itu.” Menurut riwayat Dajjal itu nanti akan berkata: “Akulah Tuhan sekalian alam, dan matahari ini berjalan dengan izinku. Apakah kamu bermaksud menahannya?” Katanya sambil ditahannya matahari itu, sehingga satu hari lamanya menjadi satu minggu atau satu bulan. Setelah dia tunjukkan kehebatannya menahan matahari itu, dia berkata kepada manusia: “Sekarang apakah kamu ingin supaya matahari itu berjalan?” Mereka semua menjawab: “Ya, kami ingin.” Maka dia tunjukkan lagi kehebatannya dengan menjadikan satu hari begitu cepat berjalan. Menurut riwayat Muslim, Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda: “Akan keluarlah Dajjal kepada umatku dan dia akan hidup di tengah-tengah mereka selama empat puluh. Saya sendiri pun tidak pasti apakah empat puluh hari, empat puluh bulan atau empat puluh tahun. Kemudian Allah SWT mengutus Isa bin Maryam yang rupanya seolah-olah Urwah bin Mas’ud dan kemudian membunuh Dajjal itu.” Dan menurut ceritanya setelah munculnya Dajjal hampir semua penduduk dunia menjadi kafir, yakni beriman kepada Dajjal. Menurut ceritanya orang yang tetap dalam iman hanya tinggal 12,000 lelaki dan 7,000 kaum wanita. Wallahu A'lam. "

orang yang beriman pada akhir zaman nanti hanya 12,000 lelaki dan 7,000 wanita (saya tahu kisah ini, tetapi terpaksa copy paste jugak takut ada orang yang cakap saya jenis cakap sesuka hati).
7:00:00 PM

Dear Atero Bores.

i recently took a short visit back to my myspace account (myspace is dead, facebook killed it) just to see how's it going. been looking up on old friends' profile and some hot-chicks-wannabe's profiles :) . a lot has changed. the feeling back then was like, revisiting a great place you once loved yet now, everything about it will just inflict emptiness.
blah blah blah. these are not the main reasons why i am posting this. the reason why is that i was checking my profile and i remembered that i have posts in my blog section. i took a peek to relive those moments where i was still eager and passionate about poetry and love. this poem below was written for my last ex-girlfriend. things get cloudy and messy around us since i'm in unisel, but i'm not sure if i'm to blame.

Dear Shorty,

I got something to share,
It's not much,
Or nothing less than,
3 words,
Or perhaps more,
And even more.
Read on,
Understand me later on.

I got something to hide,
From you,
It's the amount,
Of inks and papers,
Drawn out in order to write,
Everything about you,
Drawn out,
To create something new,
But I need more from you.
Words are nothing,
And so it seems,
So am mine.
I guess.

I got something to kept,
Away from you,
It's my heart,
But I can't,
Cause U already have it,
It's in your grasp,
And I don't blame you.
U're just the one...
I guess.

I got something,
Far beyond words,
It's inside me,
Yet it vanished,
At the very sight of you,
They're gone.
I stuttered at your touch,
I stumbled upon your whispers,
I leaped at your presence,
And I fell deep with your absence.
It's that something you,
Have in you,
Your soul.
I guess.

You're mine,
I guess.

I got something,

To tell you,
Im worrying over,
the days spent,
the words spoken,
the truth told,
the lies been kept,
the feelings 'shared',
the kisses blown,
and the hugs that bind,
are only astrays,
fake imitations of ourselves.
You'll never understand this,
Not even a word.
I guess.

To let you know,

That I've been dying to reach you,
But you're no longer there,
Not even when I needed u the most,
Even when I'd dived for us.

That my words are perhaps,
Just plain rubbish,
And my bare existence doesn't afflict at u at all,
How am I feeling.
I've been off-coursed,
I know this is hard,
I know we're not the same,
I've been writing on a short mind,
I can't help it,
But I'm shouting this out,
And answers are not that I seek,
Is all I want.
I guess.

I have nothing,
I guess,
To write more in order to let you know,
That I miss our old days,
Talking on the phone for hours,
Texting regardless of situations, (well at least for me,it was)
Being there for you no matter what,
Holding your hands in mine,
Lulling you to sleep,
Carrying you,
Hearing you whisper, 3rd August, You said you wanna be here,
With me,
In my ups and downs,
I could care less anymore,
With anyone other than you,
I guess.

I have something,
In desperate to reach you,
To tell you,
To let you know, That. . .

I miss you every possible second there was,
I miss you the way you were,
I miss you as if you're no longer here,
I miss you,
I miss you,
I miss you,
Raja Nor******* Binti Raja S*********,
Cause there's not even a single clue,
On how am I supposed to go on without you.
what to do if I am to sleep without you,
What will you be without me.?

I need not answers,
Not explainations,
Not words,
Not more,
Not less,
Than a proof, Tell me. . .

Are you loving me for real.?

'cause i love you, I don't wanna lose, Any of you.!

I Love You Baby

(i'm not sure why this failed at winning her heart back :P. 'Dear Atero Bores' is the title of it. Atero Bores is a name that i used to call her. only she and me know the exact story behind it. i won't have her name leaked, 'cause though we're not even friends anymore, i still know how to respect people. haha xD )
5:37:00 AM

Peace, Love, Empathy :)

in music, i am only interested with bands with powerful deep lyrics and which is why i am not afraid to say that i'm an outdated person who still listens to old bands. why? because nowadays, bands play music for the cash and fame, not for the sake of having their thoughts shared. i wouldn't say that all new bands are the same. there are many strong reasons why i take Saosin, Devildriver, Circa Survive and Nirvana (just to name a few) as my favorite. they write things with emotions. devildriver? yah a speed metal band, but man their lyrics! dez fafara often has concrete ideas on his words not just plain screams and growls. anthony green (former Saosin, now Circa Survive) is hell of a writer and singer. he write things with deep emotions and often in his shows, he cried. i'm not gay and nor did i see this as gayish (-.-) . he sings his heart out, not his head. same as kurt cobain. kurt, a dying soul from the very age of childhood, writes deep explicit lyrics. it's sad the fact that he is dead right now.

anyhoo, i was browsing for circa survive videos on youtube to listen to their acoustics, and i found across this. a video of circa survive doing a cover of nirvana's song entitled 'dumb'. enjoy the emotions poured :) .
(do any of you 4 followers have any idea why the title is "Peace,Love,Empathy"? those words are the last words written by kurt cobain in his life. his last words written in his suicide note :( .)

I'm not like them, but I can pretend. The sun is gone, but I have a light
The day is done, I'm having fun. I think I'm dumb, or maybe just happy
Think I'm just happy (x3)
My heart is broke, but I have some glue. Help me inhale and mend it with you
We'll float around and hang out on clouds. Then we'll come down, and have a hangover.
Have a hangover (x3)
Skin the sun, fall asleep.
Wish away, soul is cheap.
Lesson learned, wish me luck.
Soothe the burn
Wake me up
I'm not like them, but I can pretend. The sun is gone, but I have a light
The day is done, I'm having fun. I think I'm dumb, or Maybe just happy
Think I'm just happy (x3)
I think I'm Dumb (x12)

sad ;'(
4:07:00 AM


okay. time for some really serious scribbling. friends of mine see me as a quiet boy who usually laughs the loudest at chances. and yah i tend to do stupid jokes. but please please. remember this, mak saya ustazah, saya bukan orang yang akan biar nama mak saya hanyut macam tu. saya dah buat terlampau banyak research berkaitan agama KESAYANGAN saya, ISLAM! semua benda yang saya dapat, memang agak memberangsangkan. some things are too harsh to handle. i really want to share, but not through blogging. you should really understand what i'm trying to stress here, BLOGGING IS NEVER SAFE.

i am very touched by two of my favourite stories about Prrophet Muhammad (pbuh),
1: baginda pernah berdoa memohon tiga perkara dari ALLAH swt, dua diterima dan satu ditolak. saya lupa (saya bukan jenis copy paste, saya bercerita dengan menaip sendiri) dua yang diterima tetapi yang ditolak itu mmbuatkan Nabi kita sedih dan salah seorang para sahabat perasan hal ini, dia bertanya kepada Rasullullah, apa yang ditolak, baginda menjawab, "Aku berdoa yang ummat ku akan bersatu sehingga ke akhir zaman tetapi ditolak." sahabat turut menangis dan bertanya bagaimana islam hendak bersatu kalau begitu? Rasullullah menjawab, barangsiapa yang mengucap dua kalimah syahadah dan beriman dengannya, peluklah dia seperti saudara kandungmu sendiri.

2: pada akhir hayat Rasullullah, beliau meminta pada malaikat jibril supaya dia boleh menanggung segala kesakitan sakratulmaut ummat nya, tetapi ditolak. hingga ke hujung nafasnya, beliau berulang kali menyebut "ummati, ummati, ummati. . " sehingga hilang nyawa di jasad. Ummati bermaksud ummatku.

mereka yang mengenali saya dengan rapat akan sedar yang saya selalu hidup dalam serabut dan masalah sebab terlampau fikirkan tentang orang lain, tetapi percayelah, kalau anda semua tahu apa yang saya tahu setakat ni, anda juga akan berbuat demikian.!

saya ingin berkongsi semua yang saya tahu tentang agama saya, agama anda, agama kita, agama manusia, agama yang datangnya dari ALLAH, tetapi saya risau anda akan pandang saya seperti seseorang yang cakap tanpa otak. tetapi, saya berfikir lebih dalam tentang isu ini daripada anda memikirkan masalah kehidupan anda.

ermmm try google nama ni jahbulon , dah? and try this jabulani.
call me stupid or a fag or whatever, but kalau yang ini pon saya akan dikutuk oleh anda, bagaimana dgn crita crita saya yang lain? sorry for wasting your time, go carry on with your fb and stuffs.
5:35:00 PM

sell the kids for food

holiday is coming to its end. semester baru? *sighhh

i'm a student. bermulanya semester baru, saya akan berusaha semaksima mungkin untuk kebaikan diri saya sendiri.

being educated is a great way to be bought by politicians. i hate politics -.-