7:59:00 PM


The question that I'd been running from since the beginning of time "When and where will I further my study after I'm done with my diploma?" . And every time someone asks me that, it feels like I'm dodging bullets. There is a possibility that I'll survive but it's a thin one.

And today, I'm pretty sure what the answer is. I'm tired of telling lies to myself almost every single time this question popped out. I'm not saying that it's a certain thing, but I can see where this is headed. It's a really rocky steep cliff from up here, and it's wayyyy up high I can't even breathe right. I've been recovering real good from that last incident, but now I don't think that I can't get up again, not anymore. A clear mental image has it been. I guess I just have to be honest to myself and let go of that dream of mine to have a degree in the near future. I will work my way out for a degree, I will. I'm not sad, nor am I agitated because it's not even the right time for me to have any of these feelings. For things to be clear, I decided this for myself and it's not because of any external factors. It's not about any financial problem, nor is it about any conflicts. I have two more younger sisters that are waiting for their time to shine and an elder sister who is shining as bright as the moon. Education is vital, but family tops all. I need and have to be prepared for the future. Come what may, I'll live on for the sake of my family members. You'll call it dramatic, I'll call it F-You.